Shared with permission from Dear Earth and Satya Robyn.
By Satya Robyn
Dear Earth,
I am jealous of my brother.
He is in America. I am here, grounded, several years into my self-imposed flying ban.
Voices inside me mock me.
One says, pointless! What good does it do for one person to not fly? Why should everyone else get to keep having fun? We’re all going to die sooner or later, aren’t we?
Another says, self-congratulator! Holier than thou! You think you’re so great, you ‘eco-warrior’ you. Look at you lapping up the likes.
A third says, hypocrite! You don’t fly, but what about the car journeys to walk the dogs? What about the plastic-wrapped vegan cheese?
The voices all have fair points, buried underneath the harshness. The flash of jealousy is information. What am I doing that is stained with resentment? What unrealistic expectations am I holding? Where am I withholding kindness from myself?
I am happy not to fly. I do it for you, sweet Earth, and for my own peace. Sometimes I am smug, and that’s okay. Sometimes I am a hypocrite, and that’s okay.
The jealousy fades into happiness for my brother. I don’t actually want to go to America anyway. I want to be here, with the song of the kettle rising. Here, looking out at the chiffon scarf of mist draped over the valley. Here, with a dog full of love at my feet.
Love, Satya 